Stupid things (or Being Me)

Stupid things I have done…or just those DOH! moments…

Because sometimes we all need a laugh 🙂

(Quite a long list if I wrote down EVERYTHING)


  • Staring and walking (only Lizzie will get this reference).
  • At a friend’s house sat on a little three pronged stool…it flattened.
  • At Katrina’s house (when I was about 8) down at the stream building a den. Picked up a massive stick and heard a thunk. Thought I’d hit a tree. I hadn’t. It was Katrina’s head. OOPS!!! Sorry Katrina! Xx
  • School trip to Butterfly World for A-Level…attacked by bird.
  • Pooed on bigtime by bird with chronic diarrhoea in France…my one and only (so far) time…
  • Germany…Year abroad at uni – asked in a local take-away if I wanted any Besteck. Me: Besteck? Was ist Besteck?! (Translation…Cutlery? What is cutlery?!).
  • Germany…Year abroad at uni – in wool shop, got Nadel and Nagel mixed up. (that’s hook and nail) so I asked for a crochet nail!!
  • On holiday in Denmark when I was 6…was being pushed by mum on the swing at the back of the holiday cottage…the rope gave way and I went flying backwards. Funny now.
  • Germany…Year abroad at uni – in my flat. The first day I was there I had to ring the owner (in German) about the Heizkoerper (radiator…literally the hot body!) because it leaked, the kitchen sink was blocked, and I thought I had lost the keys (I hadn’t)
  • Germany…Year abroad (are you seeing a pattern here?) had no washing machine, couldn’t find launderette and washed everything in sink or bath. When the owners turned up I hurriedly replaced their beautiful hand embroidered tablecloth back on the kitchen table after washing it in the bath the night before as I had opened a bottle of coke near it. Go figure! And one day when I was sitting in the lounge I heard a crash…the bottom of the oven fell off.
  • I say I broke the garage door a few years ago…but really it was funny for ages and it was old…it would have ‘broken’ for anyone, it just happened to be me.
  • Likewise with the outer door handle a few years ago.
  • Stuck my head out of a little tourist train when I was a teenager…the wind blew my cap off…luckily we were not that far from the station so I got it back…unluckily it was a Newcastle United football club hat (although a nice girly denim one with a tiny logo).
  • Thought I would have a go at waxing my armpits for the first ever time for my leaver’s ball when I was 18…about 2 hours before I had to leave the house…cue lots of dancing with my arms down (due to being so red and sore).
  • My first crochet top (doomed never to be worn or photographed)…I didn’t measure myself, the front was wider than the back, forgot to decrease around the neck. Terrible, just terrible.
  • Science lesson aged 14. THOSE STUPID STOOLS! Bent down to pick up my pen, knocked my head on corner of radiator. Was off school for several days with a mild concussion.
  • Our High School was on a split site and had a bridge over a main road. I was on one side, hockey practice was on another. So one lunchtime off I trotted over to the other side and realised I forgot my hockey kit…went to get it and back again…realised I forgot my lunch…went to get it and back again…realised I forgot my trainers…went to get them and back again. By the time I got dressed and out to hockey field they were coming back in coz practice was over. What’s worse is that all these things were in the same locker!!!
  • Did work experience in Germany when I was 18…didn’t realise I took conditioner instead of shampoo for the whole week (I thought my hair felt strange).
  • Aged 14 or 15…was on my bed messing around with nail scissors…elbows on knees, feet on tip toe. Foot slipped and I cut off a tiny part of my left eyebrow. Mum bought me my first eyebrow pencil to hide the strangeness.
  • Karate kicked my kitchen sink once…but to be fair I WAS aiming for the cupboard above. Too bad I aimed and did a really hard kick.
  • And finally…drama class aged 14. I’ve done my fight scene and now I am dying in the arms of Alistair. So what does he whisper out the side of his mouth? “Hurry up and die, you weigh a tonne!!” :O


What is really amazing is that I manage to not stab myself when I knit or poke an eye out when I crochet.

I have done worse and I’m sure I will in the future too.

But that’s just part of being me. If my life was a movie my character would be played by the clumsiest person ever!!

Life is fun…even when at times it feels like it isn’t because I promise you…in 10 years you WILL laugh about whatever you are not laughing about now.

Ellen xxx


5 thoughts on “Stupid things (or Being Me)

    1. sarucrochet30 Post author

      Yes, well it’s not something I can slip into polite conversation easily is it? ‘look at me pits, they’re sore, itchy, and bright red…go on have a look!”
      And someone had the same dress as me! 😦 garrrr!!!!!


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